Riverdale Season 2 Episode 9: Chapter Twenty-Two- Silent Night, Deadly Night Recap

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Welcome to Riverdale’s nightmare before Christmas! Santa brought us what I suspect is a fake Black Hood, two kisses with two different girls for Archie, leadership of the Junior Serpents for Jughead, vanquishing to Greendale for Penny, either a new career for Penelope or a new stepdad for Cheryl, and a partridge in a pear tree and an actual Christmas nightmare for Betty.

No, I don’t mean her kiss with Archie.

Plus, Santa brought us the brief return of Nana Rose Blossom and a flat-stomached Polly Cooper. Stay safe, ladies!!

It’s very early Christmas morning when Polly, who’s not pregnant, wakes Betty up to come downstairs to see Santa. Betty follows her, only to find that Santa is the Black Hood in a Santa Hood. He’s coming for her, but she backs away from him, and wakes up from her nightmare.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 8: Chapter Twenty-One- House of the Devil Recap

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On the roller coaster ride that is Riverdale, this episode is the lowest the show has ever taken us. Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa is echoing his old boss Ryan Murphy, and his old show Glee, with epic levels of character and plot inconsistencies, misogyny, sheer contrivances, and using audience manipulation in place of actual storytelling.

The Berlantiverse is known for many of those things as well. Just take a look at any character that the writers decide is mainly a love interest, whether it’s Mon El on Supergirl, Caitlin or Iris on The Flash, or Felicity on Arrow. Betty and Cheryl seem to be meeting the same fate on Riverdale, as their characters erode from the complex women that they were in season one into inconsistent caricatures.

This episode, Veronica and Archie continued their sexathon relationship the way it had always been, complete with sex montage. After a particularly romantic tryst in front of her parents’ fireplace, Archie, overcome with endorphins, told Veronica that he loved her. She conspicuously didn’t reply, so they did the discomfort dance and decided that Archie should leave.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 7: Chapter Twenty- Tales from the Darkside Recap

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This week, Riverdale takes its episode title seriously, as it becomes an anthology show. The 3 subplots are split into separate stories, rather than intercut throughout the episode. We also have some fun with crime show references and the usual season 2 fright fest. Every episode is a Halloween episode this season.

We open with a 50-60s style true crime monologue and scrolling text, in black and white, complete with faux aging effects. Detective Joe Friday and his badge would be proud.

The Black Hood has left a note attached to the door of Pop’s with his latest set of disappointments and demands. Aren’t these things usually attached to churches or government buildings? Why is the Black Hood so obsessed with Pop’s? Plus, he’s seriously starting to remind me of the Church Lady. He makes so many more threats and insults than he actually goes through with, and he’s so worried about everyone else’s good behavior while he’s breaking commandments. He’s a slow burn serial killer.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 2: Chapter Fifteen- Nighthawks Recap

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The Jingle Jangle comes to Riverdale this week, the serial killer’s pattern becomes more baffling, the Scooby gang keeps themselves busy, and so do their parents.

Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe has been renamed Death Diner by Riverdale residents with a sense of humor. With or without a sense of humor, no one is visiting the Shoppe since the shooting.

Betty decides to spearhead a campaign to save Pop’s. She’s enlists V and Kevin at school. Juggie is there for some reason, even though he attends school across town. Probably can’t stay away from his girl. 😂

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Riverdale Season 1 Chapter Eight: The Outsiders Recap

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This week’s episode centers around Polly, finally in Riverdale, available to tell her side of the story, and to give the Blossoms and the Coopers a chance to fight over her in person. Jughead references The Stepford Wives in his opening voice over. There are two facets to the story of The Stepford Wives at play here. The first goal is turning all of the wives into perfect clones that fit the exact parameters of societal and male ideals of perfection, which is done by replacing them with androids. The second goal is finding the wives with secrets and intelligence, and moving them to the top of the replacement list. So many secrets are revealed in this episode, and so many characters try to control and manipulate other characters. Too many for me to list in what has become a very long recap.

Jughead tells us in his opening voiceover that Alice and Hal Cooper were high school sweethearts who got married and had two beautiful daughters. Their lives appeared perfect until Polly got pregnant and Jason was murdered.

Then Jughead recounts a summary of Polly and Jason’s history together. None of the information is new, but we do see new footage while he talks, including a conversation between them in the school hall with Polly in her cheerleader uniform, an argument at Pop’s, Nana Rose giving them her engagement ring, and the two of them at Pop’s while making plans to run away. Jughead is sitting across the aisle from them, looking bored as he watches.

Polly is sitting in Hermione’s living room, telling her story to Sheriff Keller. She tells him that the last time she saw Jason was the day that they made plans at Pop’s. Jason was going to make a one-time drug delivery upstate in order to raise the funds for he and Polly to run away together. He made a deal with the Serpents to deliver the drugs in exchange for cash. The drugs burned up in Jason’s car, along with the ring, and everything else she had to remember him by. Hermione stops the interview when Polly gets upset.

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