Okay, I know I’m supposed to take this new heroin that’s infesting Rand and our cities super seriously, but there’s an issue for me that I can’t get past. When the
flight attendant drug dealer pulls out the stylish new heroin patch, what she pulls out is a medical dressing called Tegaderm made by 3M. It’s used for surgical wounds and to hold IV lines and medical devices to the skin. Metamaiden has been using them since she was ten years old for her diabetes devices. The heroin addiction explains so much, let me tell you.
I guess we now also know that Rand is patterned after 3M, which happens to be my husband’s employer. We’ve been living on the spoils of the drug and tape business for years now. Why do you think I’m so into duct tape? That’s where the cocaine is. 😎
Anyway, we actually open on a group of
flight attendants young women with rolling cases headed to various offices. But, seriously, why the uniformed bot look? We hear them explaining the joy of their newest pharmaceutical product which, surprise! Turns out to be a no-muss, no-fuss synthetic heroin, which helpfully comes as pills, patches, powder, and drops. It’s been specially formulated so that the human body never develops a tolerance for it. The final potential client asks to test a sample on an expert, and brings out an addict with track marks all over his arm. No need for that any more! On goes the Tegaderm, which is breathable and waterproof, in case you’re wondering, so you can wear it 24/7, through all of your other activities. No idea how that would affect the heroin, but I’m going to guess they want you to keep a heroin patch or two on at all times. For your health.
The addict passes out for a moment, then wakes up and says it feels like the first time. Orders start pouring in.
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