Riverdale Season 2 Episode 9: Chapter Twenty-Two- Silent Night, Deadly Night Recap

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Welcome to Riverdale’s nightmare before Christmas! Santa brought us what I suspect is a fake Black Hood, two kisses with two different girls for Archie, leadership of the Junior Serpents for Jughead, vanquishing to Greendale for Penny, either a new career for Penelope or a new stepdad for Cheryl, and a partridge in a pear tree and an actual Christmas nightmare for Betty.

No, I don’t mean her kiss with Archie.

Plus, Santa brought us the brief return of Nana Rose Blossom and a flat-stomached Polly Cooper. Stay safe, ladies!!

It’s very early Christmas morning when Polly, who’s not pregnant, wakes Betty up to come downstairs to see Santa. Betty follows her, only to find that Santa is the Black Hood in a Santa Hood. He’s coming for her, but she backs away from him, and wakes up from her nightmare.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 7: Chapter Twenty- Tales from the Darkside Recap

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This week, Riverdale takes its episode title seriously, as it becomes an anthology show. The 3 subplots are split into separate stories, rather than intercut throughout the episode. We also have some fun with crime show references and the usual season 2 fright fest. Every episode is a Halloween episode this season.

We open with a 50-60s style true crime monologue and scrolling text, in black and white, complete with faux aging effects. Detective Joe Friday and his badge would be proud.

The Black Hood has left a note attached to the door of Pop’s with his latest set of disappointments and demands. Aren’t these things usually attached to churches or government buildings? Why is the Black Hood so obsessed with Pop’s? Plus, he’s seriously starting to remind me of the Church Lady. He makes so many more threats and insults than he actually goes through with, and he’s so worried about everyone else’s good behavior while he’s breaking commandments. He’s a slow burn serial killer.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 6: Chapter Nineteen- Death Proof Recap

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After two lackluster episodes, Riverdale brings us a glorious entry with Chapter Nineteen: Death Proof. In this episode, Riverdale: The Show remembers what it’s about, and lets the girls get on with saving the town, with help from Jughead and Archie. Even FP gets a chance to pitch in, proving once again that he’s the most practical parent in Riverdale.

The episode begins the morning after Jughead’s initiation into the Serpents. He sits on his couch and types while we hear his voice over about how everyone wears a mask in Riverdale, but occasionally the mask slips. When that happens, people scramble to replace it. Toni appears to ask Jughead if he wants breakfast, having spent the night in the trailer.

Betty runs to the Fives Seasons Hotel to check on Nick St Claire, since she gave his name to the Black Hood. She finds him alive and well, if bitter about the inconvenience of having his rape attempt interrupted. Sheriff Keller arrives in Nick’s hotel room moments after Betty. Cheryl has filed a complaint. The sheriff needs to bring Nick and his parents in for questioning.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 5: Chapter Eighteen- When a Stranger Calls Recap

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Riverdale is all about the tests this week. Tests of loyalty, friendship, love, and strength. Some on purpose, some accidental. Some of the characters pass, some don’t. Betty and Jughead’s loyalties are tested on purpose. Their results are complex, because nothing in Riverdale is ever simple and straight forward.

Except for Alice’s response to slut shaming. Don’t even bother trying to make Alice feel guilty about anything. She’s way ahead of you and You Will Fail. Even the Black Hood can’t hurt Alice.

But we have other things to do before we get to the fun of Alice and her grand entrance.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 4: Chapter Seventeen- The Town That Dreaded Sundown Recap

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This week on Riverdale, everyone tries to come to terms with the reality of the Black Hood, in their own ways. Some stir up trouble for their own purposes, some research serial killers, some go on the hunt, some try to hide, and for some, it’s business as usual. However you look at it, the town is not pulling together to face this crisis. Sides are being formed, lines are being drawn, fingers are being pointed, and clichés are being printed in the town and school papers. 😉 No one will reach the end of the season without having been accused of something, at least once.

During his voice over, Jughead name checks the Zodiac Killer from San Francisco, the Axeman from New Orleans, and the Phantom Killer from Texas. We see him at the library, checking out books on serial killers who fit the same profile as the Black Hood. The librarian brings up Archie’s serial killer faux porn video, starring the football team, shirtless and in red hoods, as another example of the terrible, frightening things happening in Riverdale.

The mayor has called a meeting in the town hall. Everyone in town is taking extra precautions, like putting extra locks on doors and walking in groups. They wonder when they’ll hear from the serial killer next (we see a package labelled “Betty” get put in a mail basket at school) and if Archie will go too far (we see Archie using his gun for target practice).

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 3: Chapter Sixteen- The Watcher in the Woods Recap

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In this week’s exciting Riverdale news, Moose and Midge are not dead! Despite appearances at the end of episode 2, Midge wasn’t even shot, and Moose seems barely injured. This shooter has to have the worst aim ever, or he’s mostly just trying to scare people. Except for Grundy. He freakin’ hated her.

The other interesting news is that Riverdale is big enough to have a park for Kevin to go cruising for gay midnight anonymous sex in, but not big enough for him to have any other viable options. Grind’em, Riverdale’s Grindr knock off, is too uncertain for Kevin’s tastes. He wants the what-you-see-is-what-you-get visceral certainty that a hook up in the park gives him. I think he’s still working out some issues from Joaquin’s deception.

Jughead reminds us in his opening voiceover that the Big Bad Wolf is real and lurking closer than you could ever imagine. There’s talk of fairy tales, children wandering into the woods, and monsters worse than devils and wolves.

The visuals start with Kevin out jogging in the forest. He runs straight into the lips of a cute guy, who, I can’t help but notice, is the same physical type as his missing boyfriend, Joaquin. They lean against a tree, lips still locked and holding onto each other, to recover.

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 2: Chapter Fifteen- Nighthawks Recap

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The Jingle Jangle comes to Riverdale this week, the serial killer’s pattern becomes more baffling, the Scooby gang keeps themselves busy, and so do their parents.

Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe has been renamed Death Diner by Riverdale residents with a sense of humor. With or without a sense of humor, no one is visiting the Shoppe since the shooting.

Betty decides to spearhead a campaign to save Pop’s. She’s enlists V and Kevin at school. Juggie is there for some reason, even though he attends school across town. Probably can’t stay away from his girl. 😂

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Riverdale Season 2 Episode 1: Chapter Fourteen- A Kiss Before Dying Recap

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Who Shot JR Ewing Fred Andrews?

What are the odds that I’m the only one here who’s old enough to remember the summer of 1980, and the frenzy surrounding the potential murder of the star/villain of Dallas that we loved to hate? Never mind, let’s not go there.

Riverdale has successfully created its own frenzy with season 2’s premiere doubling season 1’s ratings. Either y’all can’t stand to see Luke Perry die, or those Netflix numbers were amazing over the summer.

But, not to worry, Archie turned superhero and got Fred to the one outdated hospital in Riverdale. Everyone in town stopped by to support the Andrews men. Fred continued the Dallas meme with some dreams that may or may not turn out to be reality. Veronica’s dad came home and borrowed the Godfather’s moves. Cheryl established that she’s now the Godmother of the Blossom clan. And this season’s big mystery for Bughead to make out over got off to a promising, if bloody, start.

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Riverdale Season 1 Chapter 11: To Riverdale and Back Again Recap

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It’s Homecoming weekend in Riverdale. The Riverdale Bulldogs will be playing their archrivals, the Baxter High Ravens, Poe’s symbol of loss and desperation. Riverdale still wants to appear like an idyllic little town, but the battle with its darker side continues. The overall themes of the episode are homecoming, reunion, nostalgia, and commitment. Home is a place of love and family, but it can also be a dangerous place, where people get hurt and evidence of the family’s crimes gets hidden.

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Riverdale Season 1 Episode 10: The Lost Weekend Recap

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This week is all about chaos vs control. Jughead is so discombobulated that he can’t even come up with a literary reference in his opening voice over, unless we count the numerous dystopian novels with the theme of societal control. Jughead definitely thinks he’s in a dystopian novel this week. We get the literary theme of the The Three/Four Musketeers from Betty and Archie, instead.

Jughead’s birthday is this weekend. He prefers to celebrate quietly and barely acknowledge it. The gang has other ideas.

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