Marvel’s Inhumans Season 1 Episode 8: …And Finally: Black Bolt Recap/ Agents of SHIELD S5 Promo

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Remember those promising days of early August, when it seemed like this might at least have writers who made sense, despite the awful hair and costumes?

We did it! We made it to the end of Marvel’s gag reel! They saved the worst for last, with the writers barely bothering to try to make this episode hang together and make sense. They also diabolically threw in new plot information from out of left field, just in case this torture device gets reviewed.

Hold your noses and read on.

We pick up right where we left off, with Black Bolt confronting Maximus in the royal bunker. Except the writers got drunk in between, and forgot that the two men were alone, so this week the whole family is there. Why not? Let’s say that invisibility is now a temporary talent.

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Marvel’s Inhumans Season 1 Episode 7: Havoc in the Hidden Land Recap

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The royal family is reunited on the moon this week, after 6 episodes of stumbling around a tiny Hawaiian island trying to find each other. Watching these guys, one begins to understand why the Kree decided to leave them behind.

Black Bolt reveals the existence of a fully stocked royal apocalypse bunker known only to the king, which suggests that the servants who periodically switch out supplies are subsequently murdered. Another mark in favor of keeping Black Bolt as king, no? Maximus proves once again that he got the entire genetic allotment of intelligence for the family, as he easily tricks Black Bolt into turning Declan over to him. Then it’s fun and games with terrigenesis experiments all around. But first, Black Bolt proves to have pulled off another deception, as Triton appears from the ocean, alive and well.

Down on earth the royals recapture everyone who escaped when Gorgon died, including Auran and Declan. Medusa and Karnak question Declan about his research, which they learn has been funded by Maximus. The royals realize that Maximus wants to go through terrigenesis again, and has probably murdered the genetic council so that they won’t stop him.

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Marvel’s Inhumans Season 1 Episode 6: The Gentleman’s Name Is Gorgon Recap

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This week the royal family members on Earth are reunited, in preparation for the season finale. Each side of the ongoing battle in Hawaii loses a key member. Human friends are ditched, having served their purposes. And Maximus continues to go through more advisors than the Trump administration. The phrase “peaceful transition of power” clearly doesn’t mean what he thinks it means.

Maximus is walking down the halls of the palace, alone, when Lockjaw drops in with the entire royal family, wearing their original outfits. They are out to get Maximus. Black Bolt blames Maximus for Triton’s death, and knows that Maximus is the one who really killed their parents. Maximus begs for a peaceful transition of power, as Black Bolt draws a deep breath before using his voice on Maximus.

Before Black Bolt can speak, Maximus wakes up, sitting on the throne, still king of Attilan.

Down on Earth, Dave’s crazy ex-girlfriend/vet tech Audrey is examining Lockjaw and complaining about his injuries and treatment. Crystal gets defensive about her right to use Lockjaw for teleportation, no matter what his injuries are. Then Audrey changes tactics, and tells Crystal to go home, or get registered. In fact, she’ll take the photo for the ID herself.

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Marvel’s Inhumans Season 1 Episode 5: Something Inhuman This Way Comes… Recap

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This week on The Inhumans, the Royal Family, or most of it anyway, finally find their way back together. Little sister Crystal needs to work on her punctuality. Meanwhile, back on the moon, and on the earth, Maximus’ minions aren’t finding him to be much better than Black Bolt, and nobody remembers to call him “My King” consistently. Since he’s gotten rid of the rest of his family, he has no one who is his equal to commiserate with. It’s lonely at the top.

Karnak wakes up still in the arms of his drug-growing paramour, Jen. He marvels that she’s still there, because most of his dates slip out well before dawn. It’s her house, using the term loosely, so of course she’s there. Then Karnak does something like his usual analysis of his flaws, her flaws, their flaws as a couple, and the potential flaws of their continued relationship, only his power is still broken, so he has to wing it. Jen starts to consider leaving anyway. Lucky for Karnak, he’s cute in a hapless kicked puppy way, so she let’s it slide.

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Marvel’s Inhumans Season 1 Episode 4: Make Way for… Medusa Recap

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Greetings, Earthlings! Guess what? This episode of Inhumans wasn’t…terrible. It was a C, maybe a C+ if I’m feeling generous and watching Maximus pine for his powers while Auran pines for him. It does make my shipper heart beat faster.

It’s a classic love triangle after all- 2nd in command > leader > ambition & power &/or saving the world. It’s one of Marvel’s favorites, though we’re usually supposed to pretend that those gay couples are just best friends. Peggy’s looking at you, Bucky and Steve. You’re setting a bad example for the kids. Stop denying your true emotions.

Maximus isn’t ready to settle down with the only warrior who truly loves and understands him yet, either. He’s gotten the caste system and the mines under control for the moment, and is satisfied with Auran’s progress with her (inhu)manhunt, so he has a little time for self-improvement this week. Specifically, he wants to go through terrigenesis again and see if it’ll come out differently.

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Marvel’s Inhumans Season 1 Episode 3: Divide and Conquer Recap

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It’s Friday night again, which means it’s time to watch what should have been season 3 of Agent Carter, and is, instead, Marvel’s Inhuman gag reel. Let’s see what kind of fun the gang has in store for us tonight!

Look, it’s Desmond Marcus Kane Henry Ian Cusack! And he’s using his Scottish accent! He’s some kind of doctor who researches inhumans, and he’s just found out about Black Bolt. I don’t care what he does to Black Bolt, as long as he keeps talking Scottish to me until Red Jamie gets here on Sunday night.

Dr Desmond Evan Declan asks native Hawaiian and prisoner Sammy to do him a favor while Sammy’s hanging out in prison with Black Bolt. As it turns out, Sammy’s an inhuman, too, who helps Black Bolt escape. They both hop on the helicopter that Declan just happens to bring round the prison at the exact right moment.

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