With episode 8, Midnight, Texas goes off the rails, into full on camp. It’s an over the top episode, with over the top acting, villains, costumes, and even incest, one of the shocking TV sex crimes of choice for the last several years.
The Spanish Inquisition even gets a nod. And no one expects the Spanish Inquisition.
The story picks up right where it left off, with Manfred struggling to remove Theophilus’ necklace. It’s stuck and only gets tighter when he tries to pull at it. He and Kai discuss who Patience screwed worse. Kai now realizes that his entire life has been a lie and that she’ll kill him along with everyone else, once she has what she wants. Manfred lost Creek and his body is going to become Theophilus’ new body. It’s a tough call, between them. Let’s just agree that Patience knows how to make sure that she’s not the one being taken advantage of.
Manfred wants to kill Patience, but Kai points out the obvious. She’s immortal. Manfred keeps thinking, and realizes she needs his body, the vials of monster energy and the head. He moves the painting to make another try for the head, but it’s gone. They rush to the jukebox and discover that it’s also empty. Patience has the 7 times 70 vials and Theo’s head. She just needs Manfred.
Manfred crosses the street to search the pawn shop for the vials and runs into Patience. They both pretend for a minute that nothing unusual is going on, then Patience tells him to drop the act. She can tell he knows. She gives up the fake southern accent and switches to her natural British accent, then makes a bit of a vilain speech.
Delilah took away her powers, blah, blah, how was she supposed to amass an army without powers, blah blah, but then she found she could use Kai and discovered Midnight with all the supernaturals drawn there. “It was like shooting fish in a barrel.” Manfred was the biggest catch, since his body can take in all 490 bottles of monster energy and live. Fiji’s intention spell didn’t work because she created the spell in the first place.
Kai and Fiji join the fight, but Fiji knocks Kai down quickly. Joe comes to the street and uses his angel light to drive Fiji and Patience into teleporting away.
The gang gathers in Home Cookin’ to console Joe over Chuy’s death and plan their next move. It’s agreed that Joe shouldn’t have cheated, but Chuy brought it on himself by being a demon.
All other extenuating circumstances are discarded. I’m not okay with this and I’d like Walker to die a miserable death, but I’m moving on.
Olivia suggests that they focus on getting Fiji’s butterfly back so that they’ll have a powerful witch on their side. Kai wants Manfred to leave town so that Patience can’t capture him and complete her plan to bring Theophilus back and regain her powers. Manfred refuses, because this is his town and these people are his family. He’s safest with them.
At that very moment, Patience and Fiji are having almost the exact same conversation. But they decide they need to get rid of the Midnight residents to get to Manfred, starting with the most powerful, Joe the Angel. Patience suggests using a demon. Fiji already has one in mind.
Joe and Lem search the pawn shop for iron weapons to use against the witches. Lem notices the blood stains on Joe’s back. Joe explains that he cut his wings off in penance for what he did to Chuy. He reassures Lem that he still has all of his other powers. Lem comforts Joe that everyone sins, and you have to keep going.
You know, killing your husband, just another little oops.
Manfred and Kai examine the surveillance footage in Kai’s office. Kai put in cameras after the third time Manny broke in. Manfred says that he was wrong about Kai and apologizes. Kai never cheated on Patience. They both agree that Patience is a she-devil.
In the surveillance footage, they see the woman in the painting move. Manfred realizes that he saw her bracelet in the vision of Theophilus being beheaded. She was the one who killed him. Manfred tries to make contact with her, in case she’s haunting the painting.
After a moment, the painting changes so that the woman is up close, and can only be seen from the waist up. Her hand beckons to Manfred. Manfred touches it and finds himself inside the painting.
He’s in a dark woods, with a lantern. Something scary chases him, so he runs and hides behind a tree, where he finds a woman, Delilah, already hiding. He asks Delilah what was chasing him. She says, “A horrid thing, put here to torture me for all eternity.”
Then she pushes him away from her and pulls off her cape and veil to reveal that underneath, she’s wearing armor and carrying a sword. She asks who he is. He’s the first person she’s been able to pull inside the painting.
Manfred explains who he is, and she reveals that she’s Delilah, the original witch.
Bobo and Olivia do internet research on how to get Fiji’s butterfly back. They begin to hack into the Delilah’s website, but are quickly visited by Addie Wigget, who’s in charge of IT for the Delilah’s Witches Helping Witches site. She wants to confiscate the laptop, but Bobo explains the Theophilus/Patience situation to her.
When Addie hears about Theophilus and sees the photo, she faints from fear and anxiety.
Manfred tells Delilah that Patience is close to breaking the curse. She recognizes the truth of this when she sees that he’s wearing Theophilus’ necklace. They hear the monster again and race into her tent. Delilah offers him possum if he’s hungry. Manfred says he’s possum-intolerant.
Manfred asks how Delilah got trapped in the painting, if it was because she’s a light witch and Patience is a dark witch. Delilah explains that there wasn’t always a separation between light and dark, and she and the twins weren’t always enemies. She tells Manfred the story in flashback.
Patience, Theophilus and Delilah are picnicking next to a pond and doing magic tricks for each other. They delight in each other’s company and magic. They’re dressed as medieval nobles. When there’s a pause in the conversation, Delilah and Theophilus share the news of their engagement with Patience. Delilah’s bracelet was their version of an engagement ring. Patience pretends to be happy for them, but in reality, she seethes with jealousy.
In the present day, Patience is also telling Fiji the story from her own perspective. She says that Delilah was jealous of the bond she shared with her twin.
In flashback, Patience cries miserably in Theophilus’ arms because Delilah is taking him away from her. He tells her he’ll always love her with all his heart. She says that she knows he loves her with more than his heart. She kisses him passionately, and a dark bond forms. Their eyes go pitch black.
But Theophilus pushes her away and tells her they must never speak of it again.
Delilah continues, telling Manfred that she was with child, and should have been happy, but then Patience went too far.
Delilah joins Theo at a pavilion in the woods. He tells her she’s beautiful and they kiss. As they continue to kiss, she turns into Patience and convinces Theo not to stop. A plume of black smoke winds its way around them.
Patience tells Fiji, “Dark magic was born that day. The magic you now embrace. Like Osiris and Isis, Zeus and Hera, we came together as one. Siblings and lovers. We gave ourselves over to that desire and released a force that was not of this earth. It was something powerful and beautiful.”
Delilah: “It was an abomination. They took love, something pure and beautiful, and corrupted it. Just as they did with magic. And vengeance filled my soul.”
Manfred tells Delilah that Patience killed someone he loved, too, and he’s also looking for vengeance.
Delilah goes on, saying that Patience was pregnant too. The deeper their love grew, the stronger the dark magic grew, and they surrendered to it. “With their evil sorcery, they let loose an evil plague to kill those that opposed them.”
Delilah did the only thing she could to stop them. She was very pregnant, and she came upon Theo in the same pavilion. She caught him unawares, and sliced off his head. When Patience, also very pregnant, found them, Delilah picked up Theo’s head and cursed both twins: “I bind you both from all magic. And curse your descendants from ever experiencing love, as you have perverted it.”
Patience tells Fiji that she got her revenge through her son, Everard. “He cursed her and trapped her in a painting for all time.”
Delilah’s vengeance came at the cost of her freedom, and now the twins are about to be freed again anyway.
Just then, a black knight drops through the smoke hole in her tent. This is what they heard earlier. Delilah and Manfred fight it off, together. Manfred finishes it off with Delilah’s sword. He tells her it won’t be bothering her again. She says it’s only defeated for a while. She’s defeated it thousands of times. It always comes back.
Delilah tells Manfred that to free her from the painting, he needs to find the witch that created the spell, Patience’s son Everard. He agrees to find Everard, once she gets him out of the painting.
Fiji casts a spell that leads them to Chuy’s grave. Now that he’s dead, they can use him to play on Joe’s guilt.
When Addie wakes up from her faint, she tells Olivia and Bobo that Fiji’s butterfly was actually her soul. The butterfly will have taken refuge inside the person Fiji loves most, which would be Bobo. They’ll have to get it out.
Lem and Joe finish gathering up iron witch-killing weapons from the pawn shop. Joe throws in an iron full head mask from the Spanish Inquisition. It won’t kill Patience, since she’s immortal, but it will slow her down.
The sun is still out, so Lem leaves the room to get his hat, scarf, etc., to make sure the sunlight doesn’t touch him.
Joe hears a strange whispering outside that turns into his name. He follows the sound to the edge of town, where Chuy’s revived body is waiting. Chuy asks why Joe killed him. They hug, and Chuy bites a big chunk out of Joe’s neck. Fiji comes around the corner. She’s been directing Chuy’s movements. Joe and Chuy collapse on the ground. Fiji uses magic to keep Joe down.
When Lem comes back to the pawn shop, he has to maneuver carefully, because someone left the curtains open in the front. As he looks for Joe, Patience comes up behind him and blows silver dust in his face, knocking him unconscious.
Manny and Kai prepare to bring Patience’s son Everard back from Witch Hell so that Kai can suck his powers from him. Manfred says the incantation in the same room he and Fiji used to reach Aunt Mildred. The doors become magical, Manfred opens them and tells Everard that his mother is calling. As soon as Manfred is inside, his flashlights malfunction, same as before.
Next time, he needs to try using glow sticks to keep the witches from touching him.
Kai shoves Everard back in and pulls Manfred out. He got the powers.
Addie is a wise little witch, and came up with a spell that requires Bobo to be shirtless.
Addie: “Fiji’s butterfly is safe and warm inside you. It’s not going to want to leave. We’re going to have to fish it out.”
And what are they sending in to fish out the butterfly? A giant centipede. Attached to a small fishing device, which Olivia will be in charge of.
I just can’t even. I just can’t. OMG OTT And it gets better.
Olivia questions whether they should proceed with the torturous procedure, because Fiji is so far gone, but Bobo is never giving up on her. NEVER, you hear?
They send the centipede in through his mouth, it rummages around in his torso for a minute, while everyone makes squeamish noises, then Olivia rewinds the fishing reel. The centipede has the butterfly, which is in a cocoon when it comes out of Bobo’s mouth again.
But is Bobo okay? Addie just needs to do one more quick spell. Success! He’ll live to go shirtless another day.
Fiji must have sensed what they were doing and has joined them. The butterfly hatches from its cocoon and flies back to her. She catches it in her hand and crushes it. Now she truly has no soul.
She makes a threatening gesture at Addie, who teleports away. Bobo drops his head in frustration.
Now that they have Everard’s powers, Kai and Manny race back to Kai’s office to get the painting and set Delilah free. Unfortunately, Patience has been there first. She, Fiji and the dark witches are walking down Main St in procession, chanting “Ave Hypatia Regina” (Hail Queen Hypatia/Patience). They’re carrying the painting. Lem, Bobo and Olivia are being dragged along as their prisoners. Joe is forced to carry a giant cross.
They stop in front of the church, where Fiji uses magic to engrave a pentagram on the doors and open them. The procession continues inside the church.
Manfred and Kai decide it’s time to drink the vial of powers and face Patience, while trying to get close enough to the painting to free Delilah. They argue over who’s more at fault for them being in this situation and who feels more guilty and who feels more responsibility to their town and all that kind of stuff.
Kai makes the point that if Manfred goes down there and fails, Patience will have everything she needs to bring Theophilus back. He argues that it’s better for him to go down and risk his life, because if he fails, his body won’t be strong enough for Patience to use for Theo, so Manfred will still have time for another plan.
Manfred won’t budge though. He feels that this is his town and his family. It was his girlfriend that Patience killed. He needs to do this, and he can’t live with himself if he doesn’t. He says if he fails, Kai should find the Delilahs and keep fighting. He raises the vial to drink it.
Patience taunts Delilah within the painting. Olivia and Bobo try to get through to Fiji. Patience puts the Inquisition helmet on Joe. Then she tells her minions to bring her Manfred.
Manfred has already brought himself. He opens the church doors with his mind, then magically tosses all of the lesser witches aside. Fiji gets the iron helmet on him, just as he gets to the painting.
Patience makes Manfred kneel in front of her, then removes the helmet. He begs her to let his friends go, but she has plans for them. Fiji won’t listen to pleas from her friends, and instead leads the crowd in chants and helps Patience with the ceremony.
Patience picks up a sword. Olivia tells Manfred to look at her, because they’re family and he’s not alone. Patience decapitates Manfred. She gleefully holds up his head to show the crowd.
Actually, all of the witches are children of Theophilus. The distinction should be children of Hypatia and children of Delilah.
Theophilus certainly doesn’t seem to be much of a prize. He must have been the only eligible nobleman within 100 miles. If I were Delilah, I’d have been worried about the genetics in that family. Neither twin seemed too mentally stable. Delilah’s baby must have taken after her.
Lyric and Sequoia really were just loyal assistants to Kai, which means it was Patience who led them to their deaths, after Sequoia discovered the vials of monster energy. And maybe Patience was jealous and worried they were going to lure him away. She has a history of irrational jealousy. Come to think of it, irrational jealousy has been a theme this season.
This episode was like a love letter to our Central New Mexico views. I just hope Patience and Fiji wore sunscreen and good shoes as they walked through the desert.
Images courtesy of NBC.