Helstrom Season 1 Episode 2: Viaticum Recap

In episode 2, the Helstrom siblings begin to hash out their long standing differences, with Hastings as mediator. Ana spends some quality time with Mother while Chris and the Keeper skull get to know each other. Daimon performs an exorcism after a demon causes a fatal car accident. Gabriella and Daimon work together with new understanding. Taker meets with the leader of a mysterious group that’s hostile to the Helstroms.

Maybe we need to keep an eye on Taker.

Recap

Twenty years ago, Young Ana sat in the car listening to the Cranberries “Ode to My Family” while her father dragged the body of one of his victims from the trunk of the car to the hole he’d dug for her burial. Anna was facing the other way, but she could see what he was doing in the car’s side view mirror.

Yesterday, in San Francisco, she glimpsed a man dragging a checked blanket down an alley. It reminded her of her father and the checked blanket the body was wrapped in. She was on the phone with Yen at the time, who said the client gets to have a say in their business because he has money and now his “incredibly pretentious installation on ‘trans-generational trauma’ will be a week late…”

She hangs up on Yen because she gets a call from Taker, who asks when she last spoke to her mother. He tells her that the bodies in the crypt were from St Teresa’s Hospital. Ana is standing in front of a floral display. The flowers all instantaneously shrivel and die.

Speaking of transgenerational trauma, Ana’s triggers are coming at her fast and furious this week.

Later on in Portland, Ana meets up with Daimon in The Blue Heron Restaurant, which I think is supposed to remind us of the friendly, ubiquitous Canadian chain Tim Hortons. I keep mistaking the names at first glance because of the similar fonts.

The Blue Heron is a little coffee house-diner that serves food for regular people rather than hipsters, so it’s not pretentious enough to meet Ana’s needs. Daimon is a regular there and picked it for this meeting because he remembers that Ana always liked biscuits and gravy. He thought she could order a biscuitwich from the current menu. Ana reminds him that she’s not 7 years old anymore. She probably hasn’t eaten that many carbs in one sitting in 15 years, but she orders the biscuitwich anyway.

Ana comments that the level of flannel present is sufficient to meet Daimon’s comfort level. He replies that she still looks like an angry Patrick Nagel poster. Now that they’ve reconnected, Daimon asks why she wants to see Victoria. She deflects, pretending she was simply responding to his text, even though he texts her semi-regularly and she never responds.

He tells her that Victoria’s body is succumbing to the strain of long-term demonic possession. He wants them to try to exorcise the demon together, so they’ll know they’ve tried everything they could and can have some closure. Ana thinks that adding her power to the mix would be more likely to kill Victoria than help and isn’t interested in closure.

Daimon encourages her to open up by mentioning their unique shared traumatic experiences, but she’s not having any of it. In her mind, his later childhood was spent safe at home with Victoria, then Louise. Hers was spent on the run with a serial killer on a murder spree, and then she was cut loose into the chaotic foster care system.

Daimon tells Ana that he’s there for her when she’s ready to stop pretending. He guilts her by reminding her that when Victoria dies, they’ll be the last of the family, so they should have each other’s backs. Then he guilts her with the opposite approach, reminding her that he’s been the one to take care of Victoria for all of these years.

Ana: “That’s your job, as Mother’s favorite little martyr.”

He gets angry with her and asks what she wants, because he knows she only shows up when she wants something.

Ana tells him that she wants to visit Victoria, but he controls the visiting priveliges and she isn’t on the list. He refuses to give her access to their mother. She explains that she would like some time alone with their mother before the end to unburden herself. He’s had 20 years to do the same. He can give her one visit.

Now that she’s groveled, Daimon agrees to the visit. He says he’ll call Hastings tomorrow before class. Ana asks what class he’s taking. He’s visibly stung and tells her he’s a college ethics professor. She thinks it’s weird he teaches ethics. He offers to let her stay at his place, but she says she already has a hotel suite. She insults his guest room, then leaves just before their food arrives.

While Daimon was certainly traumatized and had it worse than Ana thinks, she’s not wrong about the differences between their experiences. It’s clear that Daimon tries, but isn’t able to wrap his head around what she went through or what it feels like to be her. To be fair, she doesn’t understand his experience, either. This is what family counseling is for, kids.

An injured man in a plaid flannel shirt stumbles into the road and falls down on the pavement. He has a deep slash on one arm. The next car that comes by stops to help. The victim says it was a hit and run and asks to go to the hospital.

The next morning, Chris calls Ana as she’s on her way into the hospital. He tells her that he planted a suicide note on Edward Tate’s body and the police bought it. The note included confessions to the murders Tate committed. Ana missed a client appraisal this morning, so Chris doesn’t know whether he’s looking at Attila the Hun’s authentic battle ax or not. She tells him she has to take a few days off for personal time, then hangs up on him just as he’s saying that he’s worried about her because she’s acting strangely, even for her.

Hastings approaches Ana to tell her that she doesn’t think it’s a good idea or a good time for Ana to visit Victoria. Hastings is politely hostile.

Ana: “You’ve been failing her for two decades, so it seems like the perfect time for a fresh start.”

Hastings: “I don’t know what sympathy play you used on your brother or what your intentions really are, but your mother is my patient. I am not leaving you alone with her. If you go in there, I’m coming with you.”

Ana says, in a threatening way, that Hastings can’t stop her from seeing her mom alone. Hastings tells her that the security cameras will record everything she does and there will be repercussions. Ana just shrugs.

Hastings is bluffing. There are no cameras in Victoria’s room and once they’re inside, she’ll need protection, possibly from both Mother and Ana. She’s counting on Mother to stay dormant because Daimon is the favorite.

If Victoria is dying, it’s ridiculous to tell her daughter that she can’t visit because it might cause a set back. If Ana hasn’t seen her in years, then she’s clearly not the source of the current issues anyway. Hastings seems to be afraid that Ana caught the serial killer disease from her father when he kidnapped her and she doesn’t want that mess anywhere near Victoria and Daimon.

Back on the highway, the injured man sits in the back seat and moans while the driver assures him they’re almost to the hospital. Suddenly, the injured man lunges forward over the driver and purposefully steers the car into oncoming traffic, causing a head on collision with a truck.

Victoria is sitting passively on her bed when Hastings and Ana enter her cell. Hastings starts a running dialogue that seems geared toward getting Ana to give up and leave the room as quickly as possible. But Ana used to live with her mother. She understands what’s happening, probably better than Hastings.

Hastings suggests that Ana use Daimon’s method of sharing a childhood memory with Victoria to coax her out of her shell. Ana slaps Victoria in response- that’s one of her vivid memories of how her mother treated her. Victoria/Mother throws the other two women into the wall in response, but doesn’t move.

In the previous episode, Hastings encouraged Daimon to keep trying to get through to Victoria. In this scene, she discourages every attempt Ana makes to forge her own relationship with her mother, instead insisting that Ana has to use Daimon’s methods.

We know Hastings is normally a caring professional- this bias is reserved for Ana in particular. She’s scared of Ana and what might come from a relationship between Ana and her mother. She seems to have judged Ana without ever getting to know her, simply based on her history with her father.

It would be easy to blame Ana for their hostile relationship, but Hastings took in her brother and didn’t even help her find a permanent foster placement. She’s still using her influence to block Ana from her family. I’d say Ana has every right to be hostile toward Hastings.

Gabriella brings a crate of books into her new office in the hospital, then answers her phone. It’s a priest telling her there’s a new case for her and Daimon.

Daimon storms into Hastings’ office and yells at Ana for hitting Victoria. Ana tells him she’s already been punished for her crime. They argue, with Ana complaining that their mother is still inside her body, but Daimon isn’t doing enough to free her. Daimon says she’s still as hard and cold as ever, just like–

He stops short of saying “Dad”, then tries to pretend he didn’t go there. Ana insists that since he said enough for the insult to land, he finish it and take responsibility. He continues to talk around it, calling her selfish and other insults. Because of their powers, the rest of the hospital is affected by the intensity of their feelings. Patients scream; Hastings’ mug rattles toward the edge of her desk. Gabriella, who followed Daimon into the room, is shocked by what their combined powers evoke in the environment.

Victoria/Mother feeds on the energy they’re creating until Hastings slams a baton down on her desk. She tells them they’re in her hospital and they will follow her rules. They both listen to the righteous angel of the Lord. I think Louise’s baton and the many other batons we’ll see this season are symbolic of the lance used by the angel who visited St Teresa, which left her on fire with God’s love.

Gabriella jumps in and tells them that Father Okamoto called to say there’s a dying man who’s possessed and he needs them. She’s referring to the car accident. Daimon pouts, which we’ll soon recognize is a signature facial expression for him, but he gives in and leaves with Gabriella. On his way out he barks orders for Ana to behave and Hastings to keep his mother under control.

On the drive to the accident, Gabriella brings up Ana. Daimon tells her that Ana was institutionalized, then in foster care. He feels bad that she had it worse than him and he wasn’t old enough to do anything about it. Gabby asks where their powers come from. He says they get them from their father, who was much, much worse than their mother.

This is the first time we’ve seen Daimon and Gabby have a normal conversation where they actually listened to each other. Well, he answered the actual questions she asked and she actually listened to his answers.

Chris unlocks the warehouse vault so he can put Attila the Hun’s ax away. The Keeper demon skull is stored on a nearby shelf in the vault. It’s red covering mysteriously falls off, then Chris senses the skull’s presence and is drawn to it. He hears whispers coming from it, just as Ana did. As he’s about to touch it, Taker makes a noise from the doorway, startling Chris out of the trance he’d fallen into.

Chris stands so he’s blocking Taker’s view of the skull, then covers it, so it’s not clear what Taker saw.

As with Ana and Hastings, these two have a slightly hostile, adversarial relationship. Taker says Ana gave him a key to the warehouse without telling Chris. They’re competitive over who’s closer to Ana and knows more of her secrets. Taker is looking for Ana. Chris says he’s not her keeper.

He hasn’t been told that the skull is a Keeper demon.

Chris spills enough details about Ana’s recent activities for Taker to guess that’s she’s gone to Portland. Taker picks up the ax and tells Chris it’s a fake, then asks if Ana took the skull with her. Chris says, “What skull?”

It was implied that Ana would know whether the ax was fake because of her powers. Does Taker have powers, too, or is he simply a formidable antique weapons expert? Was the skull calling to Taker and Chris accidentally got in the way or did the skull choose Chris, then hide from Taker?

Gabriella tells Daimon that Father Okamoto said the results of the car accident are unnatural. Daiman warns her that Bible verses and prayer won’t do any good in this situation. She’s seen a real demon now and seen that they’re immune to Christian verse and symbolism. She asks if his mother was a Christian before she was possessed. Gabriella thinks that the Bible might work on someone who believes in it, because of the psychology involved.

Daimon is dismissive, but then catches himself. He asks if she’s sure she even wants to be there, when she could choose an easier, safer assignment. She tells him that while she was in school at the Regina Apostolorum in Rome, she worked with the Talitha Kum, a group of nuns trying to end human trafficking. Sometimes she would go with them on rescue missions. She’s already seen “the worst humankind has to offer.”

He doesn’t say anything. There are some things you have to learn for yourself.

She tells him she’s not naive, but her story proves how naive she is. He’s not talking about the worst of humankind.

In San Francisco, Taker secretly meets with Esther, the leader of a mysterious organization that watches Daimon and Ana. Esther doesn’t want the two Helstroms to be in the same place together and threatens to take action if Taker doesn’t get them under control. She says that he can’t protect Ana forever. He tells her she’s got it wrong- he’s been protecting Esther’s people from Ana. He also tells Esther about the demon that escaped from the crypt and the Keeper demon.

When Gabriella and Daimon arrive at the accident scene, Father Okamoto tells them about the crash. He says that the lone survivor asked for last rites, so they called him in. When he got close, the man bit him. Then the car’s side mirror flew off by itself. Daimon is skeptical until he hears the part about the side mirror.

The priest tells them that the survivor, whose name is Alex Tilden, should be dead already. He’s pinned in the wreckage with a severed artery. As soon as they shift the wreckage, he’ll die. After Daimon heads toward the crash, Father Okamoto tells Gabriella that the demon inside Alex caused the crash. If they can’t release the demon from Alex before he dies, his soul will be lost. Alex’s family is on the way there. Gabriella finds a prayer card in Alex’s wallet with pictures of his family, showing he was a man of faith.

Chris is hanging out on the floor with the keeper skull, having a little facetime. He decides to get to know the Keeper even better, so he makes the skull bite down on his forearm until it draws blood. Like, a lot of blood. There’s some sighing sounds and he looks toward the heavens.

Was this a religious experience? In the last scene, the evil demon bit a priest. Should we be concerned that this has become a plague show and the demons carry rabies? I’m very worried for Chris, ok?

Next up, Ana listens to a message from Chris while sitting in the hospital hallway. He’s upset that he had to find out she’s in Portland from Taker.

Maybe he’s decided he needs a new demon BFF and is auditioning Keeper for the job.

When Hastings comes down the hall, Ana stands up to confront her. Hastings sees her coming and tells her she’s not getting in to see Victoria. They continue to argue, with Hastings trying to convince Ana that Victoria, Ana’s actual mother, is a fighter, not the weakling Ana thinks she is. She wants Ana to recognize that Victoria doesn’t deserve the anger Ana aims at her.

Meanwhile, Ana has a completely different agenda, but she doesn’t want to reveal to Hastings that she wants to speak to Mother about demon business. So she has to walk a fine, manipulative line to get through the door of Victoria’s cell again.

Ana: “I understand why you didn’t take me in like you did with Daimon. I was damaged goods. Though I wonder if Daimon would agree. You did tell him about the decision you made, right?”

Hastings: “Threaten all you want. What you think you know, you don’t.”

Hastings says that Ana isn’t strong enough to deal with Mother at her worst. She’s just trying to protect Ana. Ana offers to let Hastings watch a cage match between them, just for kicks.

Hastings must not know Ana all that well, which I guess should be obvious, since young Ana and Daimon were kept separated and then Ana voluntarily continued the separation. But Hastings doesn’t even seem to know that Ana has psychic powers, which means that much of what Ana thinks she knows, she does know. I’m surprised Hastings didn’t have Ana more closely observed in order to decide how dangerous she is to Daimon and to the community.

As they walk over to the crash, Daimon senses the demon that’s in Alex and tells Gabriella that it’s old and strong. She explains that his family is on their way. He says they won’t have the chance to say goodbye, because the demon is all that’s keeping Alex’s body alive. Once the demon is gone, the body will die. His family won’t want to see him and remember him this way.

Daimon points out the deep gash on Alex’s arm, saying it’s where the demon marked him.

Daimon: “Only the oldest and most powerful entities, the ones born of flesh and blood, have the ability to mark their human host. It allows lesser demons to inhabit their bodies. But the toll that possession takes on the host is almost always fatal, which is ultimately what the demon wants: to absorb its victim’s energy at the point of death. Keep it for itself. And grow stronger.”

Gabriella: “You mean it wants to steal his soul.”

Daimon: “Call it what you want. All of this, it’s a cycle. One we only break if we find out what marked him. If we do that then maybe we can stop it from happening again. Like it did to my mother.”

Ana and Hastings are back in Victoria’s room. Ana taunts her mother belligerently, while Hastings insists her method won’t work. Ana leans in and suggests to Victoria that they have a private talk. Victoria twitches her fingers and Hastings coughs.

The crash demon comes out of hiding and scares Gabby by moving a dead body, then tosses some large pieces of metal around. Daimon diverts them so no one gets hurt. The demon admits to Gabby that he caused the crash. He complains that he can’t move around and fight better without killing his host. Daimon notes that maybe he shouldn’t have caused the crash.

The demon says he’s missed being alive. Gabriella is surprised that the demon was human once. It laughs at her naivety. Daimon tells it to shut up, so the demon chastises him for being rude, practically quoting Hastings.

The demon says that they all know him and he’s a traitor. Daimon tells it to shut up again. It tells him its name, Magoth. Daimon tries to convince Magoth to reveal who marked him, but the demon is excited to see Alex’s family has arrived. Gabriella appeals to it’s humanity. Magoth laughs at her and threatens to tell the wife that Alex cheated on her.

Daimon: “Don’t try to reason with him. They lie. They’ll say or do anything to bring out the worst in us. They feed off it.”

Magoth agrees and suggests that Daimon embrace his true nature, the way Ana has. He tells Daimon to “thank her for sending us so many promising new recruits,” referring to the victims of Ana’s vigilante murders. Daimon stares at him. This is new information.

Hastings runs out of patience and tries to force Ana out of Victoria’s room. Ana gives in and comes up with a memory to recount to her mother.

Ana: “I’m 8 years old and Dad comes home from a business trip. I’m so excited to see him. He gives me a big hug and a gift. This pretty, emerald green pin. He says he got it just for me. Then, when you see it, you slap it out of my hand so hard I start crying until I can barely breathe. And I don’t know why. But you did. You knew and you still stayed.”

Ana asks if that’s what Hastings was looking for or if it was too candid? Hastings starts to say something, but Victoria twitches her finger again, sending Hastings into a coughing fit. Hastings leaves to deal with it.

As soon as the door closes, Mother turns to look at Ana. Ana says, “There you are.” Mother tells her she can’t talk to Victoria. Ana says that Mother is the one she came to see.

Daimon asks Magoth to explain what he meant about Ana, but Magoth says Ana is the least of Daimon’s worries. Gabriella decides that now is the time to get in the demon’s face and pray. Daimon reminds her that prayer is useless. She says, “It might work on the man trapped inside.”

Daimon grabs Magoth’s arm and uses his power to pull the demon out. The demon fights him, setting gas that’s leaking from the vehicles on fire so that they are surrounded by another ring of fire.

Edward Tate’s brother shows up at the warehouse making accusations about his brother’s death. Chris consults with the Keeper skull, then goes to get Fake Attila the Hun’s ax.

The demons are all feisty tonight. Even Daimon’s doing a little swearing.

Mother attempts to toy with Ana by offering and revoking Victoria’s love, the same way she messes with Daimon, but Ana closed herself off to that business long ago. She wants to know what Mother had released from the crypt. She threatens to make Mother talk by using her powers.

Except Mother is much stronger than Ana and apparently much stronger than she used to be, since Ana does have some experience with this demon. Mother is able to send pain and power back through the connection into Ana, until she collapses on the floor. She continues the insults.

Mother: “Disappointing. You’re just as weak as he is. First generations always are, I suppose. But I expected better of you, as the favorite.”

Gabriella coaxes the real Alex out long enough for him to give her a dying message to relay to his wife and son. Then Magoth takes control again and Daimon tells her it’s time to finish the exorcism.

Magoth: “A warning about the one who marked me. It’s coming. And getting stronger. It walked the Earth long before any of us. And it’ll walk it long after we’re gone. Long after it’s consumed you and your blood. Best embrace its power and glory, for your faith won’t save you.”

Daimon isn’t impressed. He puts his hands on Alex’s body and extracts the demon. The fire goes out. Daimon collapses next to the car. Gabriella finishes her prayers over Alex, then gives the message to his family. She doesn’t mention the whole demonic possession thing.

While Magoth was ranting about the demon who marked him, Spivey was shown from behind. His ribs opened in his front, like a huge mouth, so that he could directly consume the body he was standing over.

Ana is still unconscious. Victoria/Mother sits with Ana’s head in her lap and strokes her hair. Ana startles awake and demands to know what Mother set loose from the crypt. Mother tells her she didn’t intend to set anything loose. She wanted it killed. Ana should be able to guess who was in there.

Flashback to the memory from the beginning of the episode. When he returns to the car, Ana’s father hands her a bracelet with a butterfly charm, symbol of reincarnation. As Ana leaves the room, Mother tells her, “He’ll be so proud of what you’ve become.”

Ana leaves without answering Hastings’ questions. Mother wins this round.

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Commentary

Helstrom and Iron Fist have a similar sensibility when it comes to symbolic sidewalk flowers:

Taker has dual, opposing loyalties, but so far it appears his first loyalty is to Ana. It’s still disturbing that he secretly reported on Ana’s activities to an organization which views her as an enemy. Ana really can’t catch a break. Her one sort of consistent adult turns out to be a double agent who’s holding off a kill order from probable demon hunters.

Then there’s this:

I don’t know what it means, but I noticed 4 instances of car side mirrors in this episode- the two above, which show Ana’s father burying his victim; and Taker meeting with Esther; the one Father Okamoto says Magoth snapped off the crashed car, which proved to the priest that he was dealing with a demon; and the one on Daimon’s car when he gets out at the crash site. The camera’s focus goes from Taker in the mirror and opening Esther’s truck door to Daimon opening his door, then to his mirror. There’s a demon involved with 3 out of 4 of those mirrors.

What about Taker? He has a secret besides his divided loyalty. Maybe he’s part demon or he’s a triple agent who also works for the demons.

The great blue heron is the official bird of Portland. The city celebrates Great Blue Heron Week each year and has taken steps to protect and improve heron habitat so that their icon continues to thrive within city limits. White, male Daimon also found protection in Portland, but Ana did not. She and her gay, Asian best friend found their home in artistic, queer, multiracial San Francisco, the city that celebrates differences of all kinds. The references have gone by quickly, but based on her conversations with Chris, it sounds like Ana is bi or pan.

Daimon and Ana’s demonic family issues are layered on top of the real world issue that he’s a straight white man and she’s a queer woman. I think his arguments with Gabriella in the pilot were supposed to show us that he’s arrogant and closed minded at times, but it didn’t work for me because Gabriella was even more arrogant and closed minded in that instance. They are developing a nice chemistry, now that they’re listening to each other. With Ana, I can see that he’s trying, but he just isn’t able to get out of his own head and put himself in her shoes.

Daimon has Louise to act as his handler/buffer against the world, which has left Louise exhausted and ill. Louise, as a character, is much more than Daimon and Victoria’s caretaker- we’ve seen her acting as hospital administrator, supervising Gabriella and other staff, discussing outside cases of demonic possession, pictured as a former nun and schoolteacher, and taking care of her patients. She’s well-rounded for any female character, and especially so for a middle aged woman of color. But it’s clear that wrangling Helstroms is a physically dangerous, full time job. The show runs the risk of taking Louise too far toward the family caretaker stereotype that WoC tend to get trapped in.

Ana alludes to Louise making the choice to take in Daimon, but not to take her in. Louise feels guilty about her choice. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be a secret from Daimon 20 years later and Ana wouldn’t be able to use it as leverage. Louise certainly wasn’t required to take on two difficult, traumatized children- that’s a big job, especially for a single mother. But separating siblings only traumatizes them further. The fact that Louise normally requires honesty between herself and Daimon but keeps this secret tells us that she knows they shouldn’t have been separated.

Louise has been a fantastic parent to Daimon, so it’s heartbreaking to see how much more guarded Ana is. But Ana and Chris wouldn’t have each other if Ana was raised differently and two half demon children really might have been too much for Louise. Sometimes, there’s no good solution to a situation. Maybe this was the best that could be done for Ana and Daimon and now is their time to heal.

Louise and Daimon are intensely close and he doesn’t seem to have anyone else. What will happen to him when she’s gone and he loses his emotional anchor? Ana has Taker and Chris and is reaching out to Daimon, in her way. She was also able to get through to Mother/Victoria and get a relatively straight answer out her, whereas Mother only gave Daimon the vague answer “an old friend” in the previous episode. Daimon is also reaching out to Ana, but Louise discourages them from getting close to each other. She favors Gabriella, who’s more loyal to the Church, as Daimon’s new confidante.

For all that Ana seems like the more guarded Helstrom, she actually has more connections than Daimon and is able to connect more deeply to those she encounters. She has a full life in San Francisco that’s separate from her childhood trauma, though she still has deep rooted issues. Daimon is so focused on his mother and the demon world that he’s more closed off and stuck in place.

Victoria/Mother has been feeding on the negative energy that she’s surrounded by in the psychiatric hospital and using it to grow stronger. Ana may be unwittingly feeding on the energy from her murder victims or others around her. Daimon seems to have instinctively shut himself off from drawing on energy that would strengthen him, given how weakened he was by the exorcism.

Gabriella seems open to cooperation, but not open to much change in her way of thinking. Despite Daimon’s extensive experience with demons, she still resisted what he said about the role of religion in demonology. Yet her prayers had no discernible effect on Alex or Magoth. We’ve seen Victoria rise to the surface without prayer, so there’s no reason to believe it was her prayers that brought Alex out at the end. It’s more likely the family photo she put in his face did the trick, since that aligns with the Helstroms’ technique of drawing on family memories.

St Teresa’s description of her vision of the angel with the fiery golden spear:

I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it…

Saint Teresa had many visions of God and personal conversations with Jesus. Some who knew her worried that she was communing with the devil rather than the Holy Spirit. She wrote in her autobiography, “I am more afraid of those who are terrified of the devil than I am of the devil himself.”