Welcome back to Crazy Town! I mean West Covina, California! Let’s take a moment to review where we left off last season. Princess Jasmine and Aladdin Rebecca and Josh finally hooked up at the wedding that they both just happened to be attending. Or at least Aladdin thought it was a hook up. The Princess thought they were probably well on their way to being engaged. The carpet flew and everything. Josh must be really good in bed.
Greg, Rebecca’s actual date for the wedding and sort of boyfriend, got passed out drunk and had to be poured home by our resident patron saint of clean living and patient friendship, WhiJo (leaving Rebecca free for her hook up). Rebecca, fearing Paula’s disapproval, had hidden that she was back with Greg again. Paula found out and absolutely snapped, since she’d heavily invested her considerable talents and energy into Rebecca and Josh’s fantasy relationship. Rebecca screwing that up by falling for Josh’s best friend was not part of Paula’s plan for her daughter’s best friend’s life. Greg and Paula are currently having a few issues with priorities and control. Daryl and WhiJo continue to be the cutest couple on the planet.
And, that’s what you missed on CEGF! 😍
We open the new episode just after the end of the season finale, with Rebecca desperately trying to convince Josh that she didn’t think they were engaged or any creepy stalkerish stuff like that. The flying carpet has knocked her off her gaslighting game, but Josh also isn’t the brightest, so they end at an uncomfortable stalemate.
Speaking of creepy and uncomfortable, we have a new opening theme song that’s like a stalker’s Valentine. It’s not as amazing as season 1’s theme song, but that last, unnecessary, 2 or 3 seconds is genius.
-Paula is wearing an amazing turquoise sweater in her first scene at the office that bring out the red in her hair and the blue in her eyes. 👏🏽 😘
-Josh continues to be the king of mixed messages. Three weeks later, he’s living in Rebecca’s house, having sex with her, but thinks sleeping on the couch will establish a clear boundary in their relationship. Rebecca doesn’t need that kind of confusion about the fantasy she continues to build in her mind. Of course, Rebecca led Greg on over and over again S1, so maybe it’s just karma coming back around.
-Paula is over her dream of Rebecca and Josh’s happily ever after, and has become a clear voice of reason. Without that obsession to fill up her time, she’s back to feeling empty inside, but this time around she’s talking to her husband about it. (And ordering sex toys from Amazon Prime. That membership is worth every penny, we can all agree.) She realizes Rebecca’s life is her drug, and tries to go cold turkey on the crazy. Instead, she looks into applying to law school.
–Love Kernels– We’ve all been there. The visuals and lyrics are some of the shows best work. Especially the cactus.
-“Tell Rebecca’s friend Emory she’s never getting her sweatshirt back.”- Greg, said to Josh in a vision with eye-poppingly evil intent.
-“It’s about what’s right and what’s wrong. It’s about ethics and morals and Jesus and birds of prey. Can’t you see? Until this is cleared up with Greg, you and I are on pause.”- Josh, having a moment of moral and emotinal clarity after struggling for half the episode.
-“Patrons can’t be back here, it’s like a health code violation.”-Heather, working the bar at Home Base. “You’re painting your toenails on top of potatoes!!”- Rebecca, in response. “Yeah, they’re gonna be peeled.”- Heather, like this is the most obvious response back to Rebecca in the world.
-Daryl and White Josh are adorable at the office and Home Base. WhiJo gets a key to Daryl’s apartment, and a whole dresser in his bedroom. Josh gets anxious when Rebecca personalizes a drawer for him.
-What do these people have against plain hummus? It’s delicious!
-Greg’s father has Rebecca’s number. Greg is hiding rather than MIA. He’d gotten a DWI charge the morning after the wedding and has been attending daily, court-mandated AA meetings for the month that he’s been out of touch. He’s realized he is an alcoholic and faced his anger and issues. Santino Fontana actually looks healthier than he ever has on the show.
-Greg describes his first drink as feeling like “glittter was exploding inside of me.” He says he doesn’t know where he got that phrase from, but it’s actually the exact words Rebecca used to describe seeing Josh on the street in NYC when she confessed everything to Paula at the end of the pilot. That was the beginning of Rebecca’s unhealthy obsession with Josh. Greg using that phrase means he overheard their conversation that night, or at least parts of it. He’s always had some idea of the truth about Rebecca.
-Paula seems to have an intimate knowledge of alcoholism. She recognized the signs of an AA meeeting with very little to go on. She also recognized Greg’s alcoholism, even though she barely knew him and he was largely functioning in his life. Who was the alcoholic in Paula’s past?.
-“You’re cervix deep in this, let’s go!”- Rebecca to Paula, luring her further into another scheme.
-Josh stops by Rebecca’s house to look for his missing socks, and he and Rebecca have lots of really mature sex after agreeing that they shouldn’t see each other for a while and that sex would be a bad idea (We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now). Josh falls asleep in Rebecca’s bed, all cuddled up with her afterwards. It’s definitely a sign.
Next episode, Rebecca becomes a Ping Pong champion in 1 day. Or not. Josh is singing about it, either way.
Metawitches 