Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is renewed for a third season! The CW renewed almost all of its fall shows on Sunday (1/8), giving the showrunners ample time to plan for next season. (And avoid mistakes like letting Santino Fontana slip away.)
It’s a week later, and Paula and Rebecca have settled into coparenting. Paula understands the value of a wife now. She appreciates it so much, in fact, that she’d like several. (Duh, we all need a permanent 50s housewife and mom of our own.) Rebecca’s avoiding Josh, even though he’s made good on his promise to woo her. There’s a little shrine in the corner, filled with his offerings- stuffed animals, balloons, candy, and other romantic little gifts. Josh has been standing outside Paula’s house, waiting for Rebecca to change her mind, for 3 days.
Rebecca admits that she’s scared that Josh is still not committed to her. He’s had three girlfriends in three months. She can’t trust him any more. Josh promises things will be different this time. With a brief shovel talk from Paula, then her blessing, Paula and Josh head out into West Covina to start their romance for real. There’s a reprise of West Covina playing in the background, but this time we see the town closer to how it really is. The kids are spraying graffiti, the porn theater is hanging a new sign, and the ambulance-chasing lawyer is looking for new business. Everyone is happy, and happy for Rebecca and Josh. Rebecca thinks she’s going into the relationship with her eyes wide open this time.
Finally, as Rebecca and Josh are canoodling on her couch before going to the water park for the day, JOSH TELLS REBECCA HE LOVES HER. O-M-G. Rebecca’s 16 year old self is in ecstasy. Rebecca says it back, of course. Heather is grossed out. Daryl’s been trying to reach Rebecca. There are important meetings at work, so the water park will have to be pushed back a bit. Josh doesn’t understand why Rebecca can’t just blow off work.
When Bex arrives at the office, she discovers that Daryl has sold half of the company to a prestigious LA law firm. Nathaniel Plimpton, the son of the head lawyer in the LA firm, has been sent to take charge of Whitefeather and Associates. He brings Rebecca into his office to tell her that the office will now be run strictly, with long, grueling work hours. Nathan also needs to reduce the budget by $250k by Friday or fire 4 people. Rebecca quits, then unquits when she realizes Nathan isn’t affected by her dramatic ploy.
The musical ensemble Rebecca’s coworkers sing a hilariously self-referential song about the new guy. Who is he, why is he here, and what does it mean for each of them? Is this a ratings ploy? Is he a temporary recurring character or a new regular? He’s so good looking, he must be a love interest. What does that mean for the minor characters’ screen time jobs? Someone that white and WASPy must be up to no good.
Josh is pouty about Rebecca needing to cancel the day at the water park so that she can stay at work and try to save everyone’s jobs. Rebecca offers to reimburse him for the tickets, but he decides to try to sell them to Hector and his mom instead. Rebecca promises that she’ll never cancel anything for work again. I’m sure she’ll be able to keep that promise, no problem.
Daryl and Nathan go out to lunch at Home Base. Daryl sensibly orders the fries, because, what else would you order at Home Base? Nathan declines, because he doesn’t eat fries, salt, or solids before sundown. He eats a liquid-based, open-sourced meal replacement 2 times a day, then a no carb dinner. He tracks his sugar and carb intake with the glucose monitor implanted in his belly, Nathan tells Daryl, as he lifts his shirt to show Daryl the transmitter. Daryl says, “Oh my God, you are literally a machine. You are in it to win it.”
Or, he’s a diabetic. That’s the transmitter for a continuous glucose monitor (CGM), which diabetics wear to keep track of their blood sugar 24 hours a day to help control it. Metamaiden’s looks exactly like that, except for the product logo. Either Scott Foster or Nathan Plimpton is a diabetic, or someone on the CEGF staff is or knows a diabetic well enough to know about their medical devices. It’s a prescription device that costs thousands of dollars. He also just described the type of diet that some diabetics who are very strict about blood sugar control follow. By the way Daryl, she and Nathan aren’t machines, they’re cyborgs.
Nathan informs Daryl that they are no longer equal partners at the firm. Nathan tracked down Daryl’s ex-wife, who sold her shares in the firm to him. Daryl no longer has a say in how the company is run.
Rebecca is working late, trying to drum up the business that will save her coworkers’ jobs. Nathan is working on his list of people to fire. He can’t remember anyone’s name, just their most annoying characteristic. Okay, maybe Nathan is a machine. Rebecca agrees. Nathan tells her his family is known as the Perfect Plimptons. That explains a lot. Rebecca gets a message scheduling a meeting with one of the clients she’s been courting.
Nathan keeps taunting Rebecca about Josh and his lack of professional status. Meanwhile, Josh is impatient with Rebecca because she’s not putting him first. She’s having a hard time putting work aside when she gets home at night. He finds her work stories boring, and it’s all about him, right? Nothing that bothers Josh should be allowed in their love bubble.
WhiJo is being supportive of Daryl, if slightly backhanded. He is, at least, listening and being there for Daryl. He’s sympathetic with Rebecca about the firing situation.
They head into the big meeting with the potential new client. Rebecca wows them with her intelligence, dubious ethics, and knowledge of the law and illegal burial practices. The clients say they’ll let Whitefeather know their decision in 2-3 weeks, but things look positive. That’s not a quick enough decision for Nathan, who’s following his father’s timetable. When Rebecca taunts him for doing whatever his father says, he fires Glenn Gene George on the spot. Rebecca and Daryl argue that they can’t get by without Glenn Gene George, but Nathan is a machine that’s owned by his parents, so he tells George to get out immediately. George isn’t leaving without his solo turn, though.
Rebecca continues to look for lucrative clients, no matter how humiliating the negotiations get. Her ample bosom comes into the negotiations often.
She takes a break to go out to dinner with Josh and his parents, who are wearing matching cardigans. Nathan shows up at the restaurant, sits nearby, and taunts her. He instinctively knows how to push her buttons, which in Rom-Com code probably means they’ll be in love by the end of the season. (Though I’m not asking for them to be a couple, believe me.) Between Nathan’s insults about Josh, and Josh’s lack of education as compared to Rebecca, she suddenly starts seeing all of Josh’s faults. Their differences were easy to ignore when he didn’t want her, and she was all about the thrill of the chase. But, now that she’s got him, it’s time to decide if she really wants him. Maybe self-sabotage a bit. Josh’s mom still likes Rebecca more than Valencia, even after Rebecca skips out on dinner halfway through. Poor Valencia.
Rebecca and Paula dig up a grave to find evidence for the cemetery lawsuit the big client is involved in. They find evidence, but are caught by a security guard. Rebecca takes off, but Paula, who’s doing the work, of course, is trapped in a grave. She agrees to a date with the security guard to get out of the charges.
Back at the office, the deadline has arrived. Paula and Rebecca race in to stop Nathan from firing anyone, but he doesn’t accept their word as proof. He’s about to fire someone anyway. Rebecca corners him in his office and goes ballistc. She grabs a pen and attacks. Mama Bunch wanted Rebecca to be able to fight and survive the Cossacks, and it looks like she succeeded. Rebecca showed what she was made of this week. Don’t fuck with her people.
The clients arrive just in time to save the day. The cemetery dropped its suit, so they’re hiring Whitefeather and Associates. Nathan has his money, so everyone’s jobs are safe.
Paula and Bex have a cup of tea and recover from the rough work week. Paula reflects on what a terrible person Nathan is, even though he’s so good looking. Rebecca feels incredibly guilty for putting her job before her relationship with Josh for one week. She’s afraid he won’t understand and will never be able to forgive her. Nathan also got into her head and made her realize how different they are intellectually. Paula assures Bex that everything will be just fine, and they can go back into their love bubble now.
Rebecca apologizes to Josh for yelling at him in front of his parents and generally not being the girlfriend he wants all week. He accepts her apology, and they go straight to the sex. Rebecca suggests a game that’s remarkably like that time she attacked Nathan with a pen. There’s definitely no foreshadowing going on here.
Paula has her date with the cemetery security guard who turns out to be PATTON OSWALT!!! They go to an aquarium, which is a total turn off for Paula. There’s just no making Paula happy. I mean, it’s PATTON OSWALT. Metamaiden and I agree that an aquarium is a perfectly acceptable first date. She and her boyfriend actually did something similar on their first date.
Given what we learned about Paula’s father last episode, her preference for Josh is more understandable. He is the outwardly sunny guy who never seems to yell or judge. He seems sweet and accepting, even if he’s not very ambitious. Not unlike the man Paula married, if you stop and think about it. Except Scott is mature and giving enough to be an equal partner with the house and kids, and to support Paula’s needs in the relationship, long after she was ignoring his. Josh is still a child looking for a mommy to nurture and take care of him.
Josh never once worried about Rebecca losing her job this week, or losing her office, never took care of her after a long day at work, or offered to postpone the dinner with his parents, or any other plans, until a better time. It was all about making sure his needs for entertainment and nurturing were met, which fits the speeches he made to Rebecca and WhiJo and Hector about what he wanted from a relationship. A relationship with Josh will always be about love kernels, because he hasn’t figured out that he needs to give to the other person in the relationship, too.
Why is Paula okay with that kind of relationship for Rebecca? She saw how Josh treated Valencia. She saw how he treated Rebecca the first time around. Valencia took a lot of blame for being selfish, because she’s not as outwardly “nice” as Josh, but she was mostly just taking care of her own needs, since Josh ignored them. Since his attitude was that her needs made her picky and demanding, all of his friends and family adopted that attitude as well. We saw over and over again how badly she wanted to be liked, and how hard she tried to fit in.
Josh is now starting to do the same thing to Rebecca. If she can’t or won’t do what he wants, he’s pouty and put out, not willing to negotiate a solution that would work for both of them like adults. Rebecca’s so used to being desperate for Josh’s attention and affection, she’s been willing to do anything, give anything, to make him notice her. That’s not healthy or sustainable in a long term relationship though.
It worries me that Paula is back to dismissing Rebecca’s concerns about Josh, and pushing them together. Rebecca grew up being taught not to trust her own judgement. She’s slowly developing that ability, but every time Paula supports her crazy, then comes to her senses later on, and blames Rebecca for the way things went wrong, it sets Rebecca back and throws her into a depression. Paula really needs to work on listening to Rebecca, and hearing what she’s saying now, not trying to force her into Paula’s fantasy relationship.
Where is Valencia? We’ve hardly seen her in weeks.
-Nathan’s descriptions: screechy blonde over-sharer (Karen), dumb Canadian joke guy (Tim), mousy glasses girl (Maya), red-haired sarcastic mom lady (Paula)
-Rebecca: “When I prove that they are engaging in this criminal activity, they are going to drop the lawsuit like a dead body. On top of 10 or 12 other dead bodies.”
Client: “Isn’t that blackmail?”
Rebecca: “Little bit.” 😉
-“I could teach a very offensive class on how to appeal to rich white men.”
-Was Maya making a Squirrel Girl reference when she said, “It’s the flying squirrel.”? Or was she referring to Rocky, Bullwinkle’s flying squirrel pal?
-“He is a terrible, terrible dreamboat. It’s weird how good looking he is, right? It’s like he’s chiseled out of evil marble.”
Next week, Josh meets Rebecca’s mother. More importantly, Tovah Feldshuh is back! And she brought Patti Lupone!
Metawitches 
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