Flashback, Southwest Washington University 2008: Evie and Timothy wake up together in the dorm. Timothy had an amazing dream about he and Evie taking their kids to an amusement park. Evie was still hot in her mom jeans. Evie suggests they become Face Page official. Timothy thinks that would be tight. They are deliriously happy and cute together.
Fast forward to the present day, and Evie wakes up alone. Xavier knocks on the door before long. He shares the story of his adventure with his dad last week, then introduces her to his mother, via the floor lamp her energy now resides in. Personally, I think a lady as cool as Xavier’s mom would have picked a more attractive lamp shade, but whatever. Evie is very rude to mum, and tells Xavier she kissed Timothy. Xavier confirms that she kissed Timothy on purpose, just to be clear. Evie says she needs time to sort her feelings out. Xavier points out that he’s done the difficult emotional work she asked of him, but now she’s moved on. She tries to get out of it by saying it’s not really about them, it’s about her, but it generally does feel personal when your girlfriend leaves you for someone else, Evie, and saying it’s not you, it’s me, doesn’t change that. On the other hand, they are broken up, and she technically didn’t owe anything to Xavier. He had no right to expect her to wait a whole week for him to get his act together. I mean, she said she was in love with him, but feelings change, right? (Okay, I’ll stop now.) Xavier takes his mother and her ugly lamp shade and leaves.
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