First off, because I haven’t mentioned this yet: Tyra DeNeil Fields= Neil deGrasse Tyson, prominent astrophysicist and director of the Hayden Planetarium in NYC. The actress even looks kind of like him.
Next, that last moment of the previously on, when Timothy gives us his heartbroken, OMG, the world is literally ending, face? Those are just about the most devastatingly sad puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen.
A moment later, Tyra asks where the theory comes from. Timothy, not one to forget one of the few things that make him better than Xavier, tells her Hamish Stegner, Jr, then switches to Xavier Holliday. Tyra realizes what an idiot she’s been, since Xavier’s been chasing her for months, trying to get her to listen to his theory. The world could have been trying to solve this problem for a lot longer.
Tyra threatens Timothy with treason charges and prison if he tells anyone that the asteroid threat is real before the government is ready. They want to avoid mass panic and chaos. Poor Timothy is reduced to whispering again. Tyra asks where Xavier is right now. Timothy doesn’t know.
Unfortunately, Xavier doesn’t know either. He’s been drugged with horse tranquilizers by Jesse, and he and his trailer are on their way through snowy mountains to who knows where. Oh, to Houston, Jesse tells him, once they eventually stop on the roadside. They’re currently in Oregon. Except Jesse hung Xavier’s wet pants out the window to dry, and they’ve blown away. Xavier’s phone and passport were in the pockets. They’ve only travelled 500 miles, so they set off to find them.
Evie is on the plane to Iceland. There’s a cute doctor sitting across the aisle. He’s being drooled on by the guy next to him, so Evie let’s the doctor take Xavier’s seat. No symbolism there. Evie and the doctor hit it off. They have the same obscure guidebook, and are both seeing the Northern lights alone. He works for Doctors Without Borders. The doctor, Graham, asks Evie to get together for dinner or to see some sights while they’re in Iceland, but she tells him it’s important to her that this stay a solo trip.
Deirdre, Hank, Sofia, Peggy, and Mikhail have all started their new jobs at Cybermart Tacoma, which looks surprisingly similar to the Seattle branch, except that it says “Tacoma” on the wall. Deirdre is introducing a new ban on high sugar foods for her first initiative as new manager of the Tacoma branch. Healthy bodies equal a healthy planet. Everyone is unhappy about the change, but Hank is most vocal. Deirdre reminds him that neither of them will be happy if he doesn’t support her. He quickly changes his public position.
Jesse and Xavier use the Find My Phone app to find Xavier’s pants on top of a tall traffic sign. Xavier is climbing on top of Jesse’s back to try to reach them when a cop shows up. It’s the same cop who stopped them for littering in episode 2. Xavier has 85 parking tickets, which I’m glad to hear, because there’s no way he was parking that trailer legally overnight for extended stretches of time in those places. It was really bugging me. Try parking a trailer or RV overnight in a public place in a city some time, and see what happens. As far as I know, Walmart is the only place that will let you stay.
But, anyway, Xavier has dozens of unpaid parking tickets and a bench warrant for his arrest. Xavier agrees that he does, so he was figuring the world would end before the law caught up with him. I love that Xavier can’t escape from reality completely, no matter how hard he tries. His destiny to be a responsible guy always finds him, one way or another. Jesse doesn’t have a prescription for the horse tranquilizers, so he’s taken in, too. Because, he’s Jesse, of course he is. Good thing they found the passport.
Meanwhile, Evie’s gotten an interview at BigBoxTown to work with their charity arm. She sets it up for after her trip. When she opens her suitcase, it’s full of men’s clothes that are packed in the same ultra organized way that Evie loves. She steps out into the hall to bring the suitcase down to the hotel concierge, and runs into Graham. He’s staying across the hall, and it’s his suitcase! They have identical suitcases and packing methods! He’s perfect! And Xavier can’t even make it to the airport on time or call her!
Xavier uses his one phone call from jail to call Evie and let her know why he’s not in Iceland, assuming Jesse called someone to bail them out. Jesse called his girlfriend Amber, but got distracted with crossing phone sex off his apocalyst. Oops. These boys are too romantic for their own good. Jesse and Xavier settle in to wait for something to happen. Eventually, Tyra Fields bails them out, so that Xavier can help save the world. Getting arrested made him pop up on her search radar that much sooner.
Talia shows up at Timothy’s house and yells at him for missing their date. He claims to have gotten caught up in a story, which is technically true, when you think about it.
Timothy: As a journalist, what do you do if you have very sensitive information, but you’ve been sworn to secrecy? But the WEIGHT of it all just weighs you down because it’s so weighty?
Talia: You are much too burdened by this. You need to free your mind. You gotta go on a trip.
Timothy: Yeah? Where, Aruba, Jamaica?
Talia: Different kind of trip.
I really like these two together. They baby-proof prepare the apartment for their trip, then drink a hallucinogenic tea. Timothy has many epiphanies and increased spiritual awareness about various flavored butters and living in the now and how attracted he is to Talia. The trip is a success.
Work at Cybermart has come to a virtual standstill without sugar to fuel the workday. Deirdre starts doing strip searches to make sure no sugar enters the building.
Kareema is scratching off lottery tickets to pay for her honeymoon at the Hedonism Resort in Jamaica. Jamaica is one of the most homophobic countries in the world. It’s hard to imagine Kareema choosing to go there for her honeymoon. There’s got to be a hipper, more LGBTQ friendly sex resort than Hedonism the writers could have picked.
Tyra takes Xavier to NASA. The scientists applaud when he enters the room. They want to see his slide show!!! After the slide show, there’s a serious Q&A. They order dinner, then start working on solutions. Nothing the team comes up with is feasible in the time that they have. Tyra tells Xavier she wants him to move to DC to work with an elite asteroid defense team. He’s the expert on this asteroid, and they need him to help save humankind.
Back in Iceland, Evie slips away from her tour group to see the Northern Lights alone. Afterwards, she runs into Graham again. They have a moment, and almost kiss. Graham thinks it’s fate, but Evie doesn’t believe in fate. She believes that her own decisions have led her to this place in her life. Graham asks her to extend her trip, but she refuses. This trip was about forging her own path, not following his lead. If they really are fated, they’ll meet again.
Kareema recognizes the sugar prohibition for what it is: an opportunity. She acquires a few soda-making machines and opens a speakeasy in the far back reaches of the Cybermart stock room, complete with jazz soundtrack. The money for her honeymoon starts piling up. Hank discovers the speakeasy, and reluctantly succumbs to its allure, despite his guilt over not supporting Deirdre.
Evie flies back to Seattle. She goes to her job interview with BigBoxTown, but it turns out to be very similar to her old quality control job, not the exciting job requiring international travel she had hoped for. The interviewer refers Evie to her sister, who has a job opening that might be what Evie is looking for.
Timothy, still floating on his spiritual awakening high, runs into Hank, still floating on his illegal sugar high, and they decide to finally form the band they’ve always talked about, Finger and the Noise. Timothy will make the music, and Hank will make the noises. They wander off to plan what they need, and write songs with bubble wrap.
Evie finds Xavier back in his trailer. She tells him that it worked out for the best that she went to Iceland alone. Xavier asks Evie to move to DC with him. She asks why, since his research was wrong. He tells her that it’s a government job, because his research could have been a little bit right. He can’t tell her anything more, except that it’s his dream job. Evie says that even if his theory is right, she doesn’t want to know. She went for her dream job, and she got it. But it’s in the Philippines. They shouldn’t give up their dreams for each other, because that would only lead to regrets. She thinks they should just remember the good times and not regret anything. They cross one more thing off the apocalysts for the road: snowtubing down Mt. Rainier.
Deirdre catches Hank with alcohol high fructose corn syrup on his breath and lipstick artificial coloring on his color. She wants to know where the soda came from. When she figures it out, she plows into the speakeasy with a forklift, shuts it down, and tells Kareema to go into debt for her honeymoon, like everyone else.
Hank finally puts his foot down. He tells Deirdre to start talking and admit what’s really going on with her. Deirdre breaks down and says that she’s with child, and they need to be healthy for a long time to come so they can raise the baby.
Xavier and Evie say their goodbyes when they’re done snowtubing. They talk about how much they’ve changed each other’s lives. Xavier gives Evie his apocalyst for safe keeping. He says that if things go the way he hopes, he’ll come get it from her in four months. They hug goodbye, and Xavier walks away. He rushes back, and kisses Evie hard one last time, then leaves for good. He always was more committed to their relationship than she was, and more in love with her than she was with him.
A week later, the Cybermart gang is at a Finger & the Noise performance. Kareema now has enough money for her sex resort honeymoon. Timothy jumps off stage and runs over to Talia, suggesting they go basejumping off a cliff. He gives Evie an “I’m over you” look as he leaves the bar. Hank gives Deidre a baby gift, an infant hazmat suit. Everybody cries. They are all living life to the fullest, making everyday count.
Evie gets on her flight to the Philippines. Graham ends up with the seat next to hers. It turns out that her new job is with Doctors Without Borders. His new posting is in the Phillippines. They chat and discover that he joined Doctors Without Borders because of Xavier.
During the flight, Tyra goes on national television and announces that the asteroid is on a collision course with the earth. She states that there is a team of experts from around the world gathering in Washington to try to destroy or divert it. Xavier is standing right behind her, foremost expert on the team.
After hearing the news about the asteroid, the crew on Evie’s flight stall for time while they absorb the news by making an excuse about losing their bottle opener. Evie says, “Well, at least it’s not the end of the world.” The camera pulls away from her, out the window, away from the plane. She’s still in a literal happy, fantasy bubble, avoiding the hard things, just like she always has.
That’s it for season one, maybe for the series, if it doesn’t find an audience on Netflix. I’ll post a full season review and analysis sometime within the next few days.
Metawitches 
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