Evie and Xavier start the episode with the sacrilege of destroying a ceramic lawn gnome. I know it’s not cool to like gnomes, but Amelie’s dad and I have a thing for them, ok? It’s hard to watch one be murdered in cold blood. They also cross two more items off of the apocalysts: #124) Lawn Bowling and #281) Break stuff for the hell of it.

Evie stops by her parents’ house and discovers that they’re getting ready to rent it out. Dad’s new acting career isn’t taking off as quickly as they’d hoped, and finances are getting tight. Evie thinks about it overnight, and decides to cross #58)Repay Mom and Dad off of her list by asking them to move in with her. Mom and Dad both seem cheerful about the move, but it turns out that Mom is really worried. She’s upset that Dad quit his job and put them in financial jeopardy without talking to her. She doesn’t want to say anything to Dad, though, because he’s so happy that his aura is yellow! Yellow, Evie!

Continue reading “No Tomorrow Season 1 Episode 6: No Debt Remains Unpaid Recap” →

Evie and Xavier begin the episode by crossing “shopping cart slingshot” off of Evie’s apocalyst, which is something you most definitely shouldn’t try at home. Evie ends up face first in beach sand, which, why?? At least end up in the water. This is one list item that didn’t look worth it to me.

Back home, Evie and Xavier look through their lists and make suggestions for their next adventure. Evie suggests #36) sleeping in a blanket fort. Her mother never let her as a child, because her mom was afraid she’d suffocate. That explains a lot. Xavier’s corresponding item is #544) have sex in a blanket fort. Because of course it is.

But first, Xavier wants to go back to Evie’s #17, which she keeps skipping over: Get Francis “Fern” Fernberger’s forgiveness. If Evie works on that one, he’ll do one of his hard ones. He’s originally thinking of #1259) Tell Evie how I really feel. Screw non-monogamy. But Evie’s phone blows up with notifications from multiple dating sites, so Xavier makes a quick switch to #88) Return Wes Hofley’s baseball card.

Continue reading “No Tomorrow Season 1 Episode 5: No Regrets Recap” →

We start this week with Xavier’s apocalyst item #115)Try Bone Marrow. Evie refuses to even try, and not because she’s a vegetarian. Xavier equates the marrow to his philosophy of life. As in, suck the marrow out of it. We could probably end the episode here.

But, we don’t, of course, because even a low rated show has ad time to sell, and Joshua Sasse hasn’t taken his clothes off in a while. Whoops, there goes his hot coffee, down his front and toward his “nether regions.” Luckily, he and Evie are right next to a large public fountain, so Xavier strips and jumps in. Evie’s much more worried about the public scene Xavier is making than about the 3rd degree burns he’s trying to avoid. Personally, she’s giving me flashbacks to my mother-in-law, who was also always very worried about “what the neighbors would think.” Someday Evie will happily join the ranks of old ladies who enforce middle class social norms with an iron fist and a velvet glove. For now, Xavier asks if anyone in the crowd is bothered by him being mostly naked in the fountain, and everyone is happy with the situation. I’m quite okay with it myself. He reminds Evie that she’s going to miss out on a lot in life if she never pushes her boundaries.

Continue reading “No Tomorrow Season 1 Episode 4: No Holds Barred Recap” →

First up on the apocalysts this week: Shoot a flaming arrow, for Xavier, though you’d think he would have already accomplished that in his Galavant incarnation. And put out a fire, for Evie. Safety first, kids, even in the face of the apocalypse.

Evie enthuses to Kareema about her amazing new boyfriend. and how much he’s opened up her world. Kareema’s weekend wasn’t as exciting as Evie’s, but she did do ‘shrooms and spend the day making giant bubbles. Evie wants to put that on the lists, but shies away from explaining exactly what the apocalysts are about. Kareema wants to meet Xavier, and suggests birthday drinks for Evie the next day.

Deirdre has continued buying chair accessories for Hank as expressions of her love. His chair looks like he’s ready to drive it to Florida, but Hank hasn’t figured out what the gifts are about. Deirdre asks Evie what she should do next, but Evie doesn’t have any helpful advice.

Continue reading “No Tomorrow Season 1 Episode 3: No Doubt Recap” →

First off, because I haven’t mentioned this yet: Tyra DeNeil Fields= Neil deGrasse Tyson, prominent astrophysicist and director of the Hayden Planetarium in NYC. The actress even looks kind of like him.

Next, that last moment of the previously on, when Timothy gives us his heartbroken, OMG, the world is literally ending, face? Those are just about the most devastatingly sad puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen.

A moment later, Tyra asks where the theory comes from. Timothy, not one to forget one of the few things that make him better than Xavier, tells her Hamish Stegner, Jr, then switches to Xavier Holliday. Tyra realizes what an idiot she’s been, since Xavier’s been chasing her for months, trying to get her to listen to his theory. The world could have been trying to solve this problem for a lot longer.

Continue reading “No Tomorrow Season 1 Episode 13: No Sleep ‘Til Reykjavik Recap” →

Evie and Xavier are each telling Mary Anne and Jesse about their new special someone over breakfast and handcuff removal, respectively. They’re both head over heals, each agreeing that the other is smart, exciting and sexy. Evie is trying new things, even at breakfast, and Mary Anne doesn’t think it’s really “her”. Jesse notices how happy Xavier is.

Jesse’s unflattering mug shot shows up on the news. He and Xavier agree that Jesse needs to lay low for a while. Xavier lets Evie know that’s the plan when they cross backseat car sex off her apocalyst later.

Deirdre and Evie meet to begin Operation Hank-ee Pankee. First up, go over the HR guidelines, which stipulate that Deirdre can’t rub the tension out of Hank’s naughty, broad shoulders. She’ll have to work on being more accessible as a person, instead, which means she has to try to be nice, a foreign concept to Deirdre.

Continue reading “No Tomorrow Season 1 Episode 2: No Crying in Baseball Recap” →

This episode answers the question at the heart of the show: Is Xavier right about the impending asteroid impact, or is he crazy? It turns out, he’s been right all along, and I’m so glad they went in this direction. It legitimizes the character and his views. They’ve already shown us that his father is a well-regarded mathematician, making Xavier’s scientific and mathematical abilities plausible, no matter how much or how little college or experience he’s had. Many a maverick genius is self-educated. That would be what allowed Xavier to think outside the box and see the crucial variables that no one else was taking into account.

But, the big reveal doesn’t come until the very end of the episode. Let’s start at the beginning. Jesse and Evie are playing Jumbo tumble tower, a life-sized version of Jenga made of colorful blocks. Xavier with an X is inside his trailer (which is in the park with them, instead of under the bridge, to reflect his optimistic new view of life) trying to find a solution to the asteroid problem. Evie interrupts him to suggest they solidify their plans for their trip to Iceland, which is in three days. Xavier asks to put off the planning until the next day. Evie reluctantly agrees. She still doesn’t take Xavier’s theory seriously, and is annoyed that it’s interfering with their lives. Xavier’s frustrated because every solution he models ends with a devastating impact.

Continue reading “No Tomorrow Season 1 Episode 12: No Time Like the Present Recap” →

I’ve also written a general introduction/review of No Tomorrow.

“Listen up everybody! The clock is ticking! There’s no time to waste! Every moment counts!”

Those are the first words we hear in the pilot of No Tomorrow, while the visuals are external shots of Seattle, the setting for the show. They’re spoken by Evie, the plucky female lead who’s lacking in self-confidence. They tell us what the series is about, but they’re also a fake out. She’s speaking, in a wavery voice, to her coworkers at an Amazon-like warehouse, trying to motivate them to get orders ready for shipment. Her speech fades out at the end as she gives up on trying to bring out any enthusiasm in the other employees. Everyone is just walking through their lives like zombies, hating their jobs, bored, but accepting the status quo.

Next we meet Evie’s coworkers. I’ll let Kareema and Deirdre speak for themselves.

Kareema: Honestly, I don’t know what’s sadder. The utter meaninglessness of this job, or your attempts to imbue it with meaning. But then I remember there is no sadness and we’re all just bags of dust in an infinite universe.

Continue reading “No Tomorrow Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot Recap” →

Flashback, Southwest Washington University 2008: Evie and Timothy wake up together in the dorm. Timothy had an amazing dream about he and Evie taking their kids to an amusement park. Evie was still hot in her mom jeans. Evie suggests they become Face Page official. Timothy thinks that would be tight. They are deliriously happy and cute together.

Fast forward to the present day, and Evie wakes up alone. Xavier knocks on the door before long. He shares the story of his adventure with his dad last week, then introduces her to his mother, via the floor lamp her energy now resides in. Personally, I think a lady as cool as Xavier’s mom would have picked a more attractive lamp shade, but whatever. Evie is very rude to mum, and tells Xavier she kissed Timothy. Xavier confirms that she kissed Timothy on purpose, just to be clear. Evie says she needs time to sort her feelings out. Xavier points out that he’s done the difficult emotional work she asked of him, but now she’s moved on. She tries to get out of it by saying it’s not really about them, it’s about her, but it generally does feel personal when your girlfriend leaves you for someone else, Evie, and saying it’s not you, it’s me, doesn’t change that. On the other hand, they are broken up, and she technically didn’t owe anything to Xavier. He had no right to expect her to wait a whole week for him to get his act together. I mean, she said she was in love with him, but feelings change, right? (Okay, I’ll stop now.) Xavier takes his mother and her ugly lamp shade and leaves.

Continue reading “No Tomorrow Season 1 Episode 11: No Woman No Cry Recap” →